Atlanta Loop has partnered with Dad’s Garage to provide recaps of their latest show: SCANDAL. This improvised soap opera takes place in a fancy hotel with a seedy male strip club in the bottom. Every week the improvisers at Dad’s Garage will make up the drama, the laughs, and the SCANDAL on stage at their theatre; and we’ll be publishing the recaps. Imagine Soap Opera Digest meets Atlanta Loop, and you get the idea. Subscribers to Atlanta Loop/Decaturish will have access to a limited number of free tickets each week. To purchase tickets for the next show, click here.
Act One
The episode begins with Derek entering the lobby of the Quadruple Tree Hotel while the owner, Bergeron, types away. Thanks to an accident, Derek is no longer a Polish valet–he is Nigel, a British spy from the 1700s. Before Bergeron can investigate, his stern mother Vivian surprises him with a visit from England! Vivian is amused by Derek/Nigel’s concussed confusion, much to Bergeron’s relief.
Downstairs in Danglerzzz, Jiarrhea is showing a new variety performer, Peyton Fromage, the ropes. Peyton is a comedian with an ambiguous identity, childlike demeanor, and corny punchlines.
Back in the hotel lobby, Shedebra Bunting meets Stripbot for the first time. Turns out that Stripbot is just as conniving as Shedebra, and the two start a beautiful friendship together.
On the Danglerzzz stage, Scrunge (a.k.a reporter Ashley Anderson) is warming up for his next set when Vivian wanders in unsure of where she is. She is completely delighted by Scrunge’s performance and vows that for the first time ever, she cares about someone and their future.
Later that night, Bergeron runs into the Danglerzzz locker room; he’s been distraught looking for his mother. Vivian was seen making out with Scrunge, and Bergeron is devastated. Jiahrrea offers to seduce Vivian in order to keep Scrunge away.
Meanwhile Shedebra bursts into a guest room and tries to wake Derek/Nigel, who has fallen into a sleep-like trance. While in this state Derek reveals that he is trapped by the spirit of Nigel, and the only thing that can save him is to be re-concussed by the same novelty item that felled him before.
During her stumble out of Danglerzzz, Vivian meets Peyton and is instantly bewildered by their likable yet confusing persona. Peyton shows her the material they’re working on, and she is once again charmed.
Back in the lobby, Stripbot and Bergeron find each other and discuss their plot to put the Danglerzzz dancers out of business before killing them. Bergeron flips a circuit that turns Stripbot’s ability to have feelings off, making him more ready to kill.
Act Two
Stripbot finally ascends the Danglerzzz stage and Scrunge is very impressed by the moves. While talking together Stripbot discloses that he has scanned Scrunge and knows the truth–that he is actually a teenage girl. The two bond in that moment and Stripbot remembers that there may have been a time when he was human. They also admit they each have been recording everything that happens around them.
Upstairs Vivian discovers Shedebra and confesses that she had come to Atlanta with the intent of bringing Bergeron back home to England. In another uncharacteristically empathetic moment, she listens to Shedebra talk about herself and once again declares that the characters in the building are like children she never had.
In the dark of the bar, Derek/Nigel skulks about looking for a victim and is stopped by Peyton’s overjoyed recognition of him. Peyton decides to try some new material out on him – it doesn’t go over well.
At the front desk, Bergeron is doing paperwork as Shedebra strides up to him. She gushes over Vivian, which disgusts Bergeron. Vivian threatens to separate Bergeron from his beloved hotel, which he wants to transform into the most prestigious hotel ever by putting the club out of business.
Speaking of Vivian, she and Scrunge are watching Jiarrhea on the stage. She coos at the sight of Jiarrhea’s knees and…things. This makes Scrunge jealous, giving Jiarrhea the rare opportunity to call him out for being sexist. Because Scrunge is a Millennial under the disguise, he begins to demur over gender issues, causing Vivian to balk at him and tell him to set principles and stick to them. In a moment of weakness, Scrunge calls Vivian “Grandma” and Jiarrhea punches him for insulting his lady fair. Vivian invites Jiarrhea up to the Presidential Suite as a reward.
A bit later, Bergeron tinkers with Stripbot in the Danglerzzz bar as Derek/Nigel sneaks in. Derek/Nigel believes that he is Bergeron’s ancestor. As they ponder the possibility, Vivian and Jiarrhea burst in to announce that Vivian is staying in Atlanta and marrying Jiarrhea! Scrunge enters and holds up a marriage license he had Vivian sign under false pretenses–meaning Vivian will marry Scrunge the next day! But wait, Stripbot scans her and tells everyone that Vivian is also pregnant with Jiarrhea’s baby! Then Scrunge disrobes and tells everyone his actual identity – Vivian is about to marry a girl! While in shock, Bergeron bludgeons himself.
A mayoral forum was held last night at Atlanta Technical College with 10 candidates fielding questions from a panel of journalists and the audience.
The forum was hosted by the Atlanta League of Women Voters and the local NAACP chapter and was sponsored by the National Pan Hellenic Council of Greater Atlanta. Ten of the mayoral candidates were on the dais (Mary Norwood did not attend), with WSB-TV’s Tom Jones acting as the moderator. The candidates introduced themselves and gave a brief description of their qualifications and plans if they are elected.
The candidates in attendance were:
– John Eaves, Fulton County Commission Chairman
– Peter Aman, Atlanta’s former chief operating officer
– Keisha Lance Bottoms, Atlanta City Council member
– Vincent Fort, state senator
– Kwanza Hall, Atlanta City Council member
– Ceasar Mitchell, Atlanta City Council president
– Mary Norwood, Atlanta City Council member
– Michael Sterling, former Executive Director of the Atlanta Workforce Agency
– Cathy Woolard, former Atlanta City Council member and president
– Al Bartell, an environmentalist
– Laban King, an activist.
The opening speeches covered many hot topics of Atlanta and set the agenda for each candidate. Topics included gentrification, crime, government oversight and corruption, and revitalization. Here is a sampling of the candidates’ answers.
One questioner asked about Atlanta’s murder rate and asked if the city is becoming “another Chicago.”
“The city of Atlanta and Fulton County needs to get away from the corporate model of government and turn to the urban model,” Bartell said, a point he repeatedly made throughout the night. “That includes police coming from the community and patrolling the community.”
“It’s already Chicago,” Fort said. “Look at our murder rates, [one of the highest in the country]. This is not a problem of gangs, but a problem of bored kids with no community, along with a mental illness problem we are not addressing correctly.”
Many of the other candidates echoed the idea of local “from the community” policemen and concentration on mental health care, along with expanding the police department and paying officers better.
With the subject of mental health and its relation to crime, the topic turned to a related matter, the growing homeless population of Atlanta.
Aman said he had helped run a homelessness help group and had deep empathy for the problem, and proposed mental health care spending and “day work” jobs for the disenfranchised and unemployed among their population.
Eaves said mental illness is pervasive in the homeless population.
“Seventy percent of the homeless population is mentally ill,” Eaves said. “And the answer often seems to be to throw them in jail instead of mental health facilities. We need crisis intervention, not arrests.”
King brought up the “hidden homeless” problem, which meant those that work a nine to five job but sleep in their cars and elsewhere that they can. “We need affordable housing for these people too, and social services that can get them proper shelter.”
With the ongoing expansion of the Beltline and rising housing costs, the question of gentrification and displacement of Atlanta’s native African American communities was brought up several times.
“Many areas of the city need revitalization,” Hall said. “But that needs equality and inclusion. Two fold, we need to protect our investments as well as protect our traditional neighborhoods.”
Mitchell cited a growing concern about local jobs as a contributing factor in the cause of gentrification. “AT&T is cutting 300 jobs and Coke is cutting 1,200 (although not all local),” he said, making the point that keeping jobs in the city is crucial to helping stave off gentrification.
Another popular topic was corruption and transparency at Atlanta City Halll.
Sterling cited his credentials as a prosecutor and said he was the only one there that had “investigated, prosecuted, and jailed” public officials for wrongdoing.
While many candidates talked about transparency and making all spending documents and reports available to the public, Bottoms was quick to point out that many of these proposals already existed, and the public could easily find them online.
The forum lasted longer than two hours. The mayoral election will be held Nov. 7.
The Zero Mile Post marked the meeting of two railway lines and possibly the beginning of the city of Atlanta. Zero Mile is a series of sometimes fictionalized and sometimes real stories based on life in Atlanta, Georgia.
By Nicki Salcedo, contributor
Maybe we are all monsters.
I wonder what kind I am.
I like to be alone. Even when I’m alone, I sometimes feel like I’m too many people. I socialize when invited, but I often dread the idea of leaving my house and being around people. This includes my own family.
Last year, I stood in my kid’s classroom and the room began to fill with other parents. There were suddenly too many people jockeying for a front seat. Too many bodies close to me. I must have had a panicked look on my face.
The teacher approached me and said, “Would you feel better by the door?”
I would. I did. I moved away from the crowd to a place where I felt more comfortable. Now I instinctively position myself at the entrance just in case I need to escape. I like the idea of people, but not the actuality of people. They are selfish and fatiguing and racing to unknown finish lines.
They are monsters. Like me.
I accept invitations when I’m invited. I need to prove to the world that I am normal. I can be social when I try. They don’t have to know that I am messed up and mean and sad and angry. I am a monster. Then my special gift appears. Some call it optimism. I call it survival. These are the skills I have.
I am a person of low expectations. This means I’m almost always satisfied.
I take care of other people without expecting anything in return. I don’t need thanks or love or happiness as a result of something I do for someone else.
I take care of myself. I’m an employee who does not define myself by my job. I’m a mom who doesn’t like kids. I’m writer who thinks books should be free and writing should be taught to people who have nothing but words in their head.
I trust people who have hobbies. Running, quilting, book clubs, street art, whatever. These are important.
Happiness is not something that happens. Happiness is a thing created. I am messed up and mean and sad and angry. I am also profoundly happy. I make happiness each day. A magician makes magic out of nothing. A prayer is an invisible thing. Each morning I reach into the air and begin to make happiness.
I stand on the sidelines in the rain. This could be terrible, but I try to find joy. There are geese on the field next to us, and my umbrella makes a kaleidoscope of colors when I spin it.
I create my own expectations for motherhood. I set my own standards for what is correct and good and just. I find people who replicate joy. I work at happiness like it’s my job.
I don’t like it when people say, “Be happy.” You can’t just be happy. There isn’t a happiness switch. Happiness has a crank. Happiness is in the water at the bottom of a deep well. It may take days or weeks or years to bring it to the surface. You have to work at it.
I bought a bottle of water in the airport. The cashier said, “Did you ever spend all day outside in the summer? You didn’t want to go inside until the end of the day. This bottle of water tastes like that.”
There are poets working in the airport.
“Like hose water?” I asked.
“Yes! Like that. Delicious.”
She was finding happiness and giving it to me. I know the taste of hose water. It is probably not the best water in the world. But when you are happy in the summer, the water tastes happy. That’s the truth.
People try to warn me of dangerous parenting times ahead. I have entered the teenage years of motherhood. I don’t know why I’m so excited about this. But I’m very happy. Thirteen is a great age. When she was still a beautiful mystery inside my belly, we called her Lucky. I will have to trust her to care for me one day.
I look at motherhood and some days I look far, far into the future. I hope I’m lucky enough to get there.
This week, my hairdresser asked me if we should do something about my gray hair.
“Leave it,” I said. I looked in the mirror and saw something beautiful because I was looking for it. Call it gray or white or silver if you want, now I call them survival lines. I love them.
Each morning I look at the monster. I find the sad places, the moments of feeling overwhelmed, and all the regrets that fester as I sleep. I look at the gray hairs. I look for happiness. I reach into the air and begin to make happiness. It is my magic. It is my prayer.
Nicki Salcedo knows the loops and the backroads of Atlanta. She is a novelist, blogger and working mom. Zero Mile stories will appear on the Atlanta Loop on Wednesdays.
The Grant Park Gateway Project is an upscale take on a parking garage, providing 1,000 spaces surrounded with amenities.
City officials unveiled plans for the $48 million project on April 25. It will be next to Zoo Atlanta on Boulevard Avenue.
“The new amenity will feature a park on the roof of the facility with green infrastructure elements and a restaurant highlighting regional cuisine, while providing approximately 1,000 parking spaces,” a press release from the city says.
Mayor Kasim Reed called it “the first facility of its kind” in Atlanta and said it “provides an entirely new way of looking at the entrance to the community.”
“The design benefits the Grant Park neighborhood and respects its history as Atlanta’s oldest park, while addressing parking demands, reducing traffic congestion and improving the overall safety in the area,” Reed said, according to the press release.
The estimated completion date is late 2018. Winter Johnson Group received the contract for the project and the Parks and Recreation Department will issue a request for proposal for the restaurant space.
The city provided these renderings of what the gateway will look like when it’s completed.
ABI says the delay is intended to address a safety issue.
“Atlanta BeltLine, Inc. contractors will extend the closure of Irwin Street where it intersects the Eastside Trail in order to remove the existing eastern ramp of the speed table and extend it from 6′ to 9’10” to create a safer vehicular approach ramp,” the announcement says. “ABI and City of Atlanta Inspectors determined that the recently constructed eastern approach ramp to the speed table was too steep for most vehicles to traverse safely even at minimal speeds. The eastern ramp is a safety issue and warrants Irwin Street to remain closed until the issue is remedied by the contractor (Astra). ABI has received a permit from the City of Atlanta to extend the Irwin Street closure until Thursdaymidnight for the additional work that needs to be completed before the road can re-open.”
The detour routes are as follows:
– For vehicular traffic on Irwin: If traveling east, turn right at Auburn Avenue, left at Randolph Street, left at Edgewood Avenue, and left at Krog Street. If traveling west, turn left at Krog Street, right at Edgewood Avenue, and right at Auburn Avenue.
– To access the Eastside Trail: The Eastside Trail can be accessed from the west side by way of John Wesley Dobbs Avenue, Highland Avenue, and East Avenue (via Alaska Avenue). Note that only the East Avenue access point is ADA-accessible. The Eastside Trail can be accessed from the east side by way of Elizabeth Street. Use Irwin Street/Lake Avenue, making a left on Elizabeth.
In addition to the speed tables, contractors are installing sidewalks, curbs, gutters, light poles, rapid flashing beacons, a fiber optic duct bank and a new storm line. The project will extend the Eastside Trail from Irwin Street to Kirkwood Avenue. ABI provided the following detour map …
Atlanta City Hall. Photo by Bbenrath, obtained via Wikimedia Commons
Reminder: Atlanta’s mayoral candidates will meet tomorrow, April 25, at a forum hosted by the NAACP, League of Women Voters and Black Greeks.
The event will be held April 25, from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., in the Academic Complex Auditorium at Atlanta Technical College, located at 1560 Metropolitan Pkwy SW, Atlanta, GA 30310. WSB-TV reporter Tom Jones will moderate and other local journalists will be asking questions, too. The candidates will also field questions from the audience and questions submitted online.
“The three sponsoring organizations represent key aspects of Atlanta’s voting population – including women, college-educated African Americans, and Black civic-minded citizens,” the event announcement says. “Like everyone living within the city limits, members of these organizations want to ensure that the right individual is chosen to lead Atlanta into the future. A reception with refreshments begins at 6 p.m., and the main event will begin at 7 p.m.”
It’ll be a packed two hours as there are at least nine candidates with a shot at succeeding Mayor Kasim Reed, who is term limited. The Atlanta mayoral election will be held on Nov. 7.
The candidates are …
– John Eaves, Fulton County Commission Chairman
– Peter Aman, Atlanta’s former chief operating officer
– Keisha Lance Bottoms, Atlanta City Council member
– Vincent Fort, state senator
– Kwanza Hall, Atlanta City Council member
– Ceasar Mitchell, Atlanta City Council president
– Mary Norwood, Atlanta City Council member
– Michael Sterling, former Executive Director of the Atlanta Workforce Agency
– Cathy Woolard, former Atlanta City Council member and president
The forum will also include two other lesser-known candidates: Al Bartell, an environmentalist, and Laban King, an activist.
Image of April 2, 2017 demolition of what remained of a burned out section of I-85. Photo credit: Katina Lear, Georgia Department of Transportation
Georgia Department of Transportation officials say the rebuilding of a section of I-85 in Atlanta is entering a critical stage this week.
Crews have been working to meet a June 15 deadline to repair the road following a March 30 fire that destroyed a section of I-85 at Piedmont Road.
GDOT crews are setting beams for the I-85 project, which means “continuous lane closures” on Piedmont are expected from 9 a.m. Tuesday, April 25 to 9 a.m. Wednesday, April 26. The announcement from GDOT says, “The Buford-Spring Connector will be open to traffic, but the southbound access ramp from Piedmont road to the Buford-Spring Connector will be closed.”
“Motorists who regularly use Piedmont Road near I-85 are advised to plan ahead to avoid this route during the specified hours,” the announcement from GDOT says. “As always, motorists traveling in the affected areas are reminded to reduce their speeds while traveling through the work zone. Georgia DOT urges motorists to wear seatbelts, eliminate distractions behind the wheel and plan their routes before getting on the road by calling 511 for real-time information.”
Garner was also a member of the Atlanta BeltLine Inc. board of directors, the entity that oversees the Beltline project. ABI released the following statement about her:
“We are deeply saddened to hear the news of the passing of Commissioner Joan Garner. Joan served as a vital member of the Atlanta BeltLine Board of Directors, championing our affordable housing initiatives and lending her guidance and support to so many other important efforts. More importantly, Joan was an integral part of our Atlanta BeltLine family being a long-time resident of the Old Fourth Ward and serving the community in so many ways. On behalf of the ABI Board and Team, we extend our sincere condolences to Jane and all of her loved ones during this difficult time.”
– John Somerhalder, Chairman of the Atlanta BeltLine, Inc. Board of Directors.
Garner represented District 4. She hailed from Washington, D.C. and moved to Atlanta in 1978. She lived in Atlanta’s Old Fourth Ward neighborhood with her partner, Judge Jane Morrison.
Rapper Killer Mike has a special 420 message for Atlanta residents.
The short version: If you think Marijuana should be decriminalized, support candidate Vincent Fort for Atlanta mayor.
“Look, I’m not just another rapper wanting to legalize marijuana because I enjoy smoking it – this is MUCH MORE SERIOUS than that,” Killer Mike said in the email. “The history of marijuana prohibition in the United States is one rooted in the deliberate criminalization of young people of color. And in our own home of Atlanta, the civil rights capital of the world, this injustice rages on to this day.”
The email cites a WSB-TV report from 2012 that found that, “93 percent of all marijuana possession arrests in the city of Atlanta were African-Americans, and 7 percent were white. The city’s population is 54 percent African-American and 38 percent white.”
The email concludes with a fundraising appeal on Fort’s behalf. The candidate himself has also been expressing his support for a recent push by the Atlanta City Council to decriminalize simple possession of marijuana.
“This is not an issue of whether or not the people of Atlanta should or should not be smoking marijuana – this is an issue of racial injustice,” Fort said in a recent email. “The mass incarceration of people of color for marijuana is the entry point to the revolving door of the prison pipeline that ruins not only one life, but entire generations of families forever.”
His email invites respondents to sign a petition in support of the initiative.
